If 'expectations' were a medicine, any company wanting to avoid a lawsuit would be sure to throw on a "Caution: may be detrimental to your happiness" label.

Maybe the reason I like to claim I'm not a daydreamer is because instead I like to think that I know how everything will turn out. I'm not 'daydreaming' per se, but rather, "preparing" or "planning", if you will.

Like, remember that time I went to Argentina and suddenly felt that after all of these years of being Argentine by birth (and pride) yet a US citizen by blood (and the massive amount of cheese curds I have consumed) I suddenly felt as if it all became crystal clear?!  Remember how I left Argentina after five months and I was able to feel as if my puzzle-piece identity wasn't all corner pieces anymore, but that I completely understood how to balance my love for two different cultures and came home and suddenly everyone else understood too and we all danced around eating dulce de leche and singing praises to God?! And also! My voice! Remember how I suddenly found out that all these years I just had a "tickle in my throat" which was ALSO cured while in Argentina leaving me with the voice of an angel, wait! no, even better, of Beyonce?!

Oh Caroline, Caroline, Caroline... (I can feel you all shaking your heads and face palming me all the way over here and I know what you're thinking....She will NEVER be able to sing.  No matter what Paula says when she plays American Idol on the Wii…)  

So let's leave that argument until the next time you hear me sing "My Heart Will Go On" and instead think how, in the words of Queen B. herself, all of these expectations I have are just going to leave me one 'broken-hearted girl'.  There is a huge difference between having expectations that will satisfy my own desires for my life and having faith that will satisfy God's purposes for me—which after all, should be my desires anyway.  I "know" this, but my Type-A personality trying to predict and control every aspect of my life is quick to forget.  But how thankful I am that I have a Father who doesn't give up guiding me even when I would often prefer it.  Ultimately, I'd much rather follow after (what often appears to be) His trail of crumbs than the path I've taken the liberty to deem "good" and have decorated with gold.  The beautiful thing is that those "crumbs" will guaranteed always lead to satisfaction and blessings—whether the way we had imagined or in a way far beyond our initial understanding.

A prayer as I prepare for my time abroad:

May my desires align wholly and excitedly with Yours.  That all I would ever "expect" is that You are at work in and around me—having the discipline, discernment, patience, and obedience to experience You.