Nope. I did NOT sign up for this.

Despite what my brother likes to claim, I am NOT a Cat Lady yet and I honestly don't worry that I will ever become one.  I could say it's because I'm allergic to cats (which is true) but, that would be lying.  The real reason is, I kind of strongly dislike [I FIND THEM TO BE SOME OF THE MOST VILE CREATURES THAT GOD CREATED] cats.  

So, you can imagine my surprise after my initial surprise of what a large and spacious apartment I live in in Argentina, to walk into my room and find Piori just plopped on my bed as if he, and the other two cats that he ate, own it.  

But I wasn't going to let this little beast get me down.  'I just don't understand cats' is what I told myself.  But seriously, I don't.  And I don't think a week later I'm any closer to reaching a point of understanding or of losing my original notions of the creepy felines.  

1. Disdain.  He always looks at me like he hates me.  Like he's judging me.  YOU DON'T THINK I REALIZE HOW RIDICULOUS I LOOK WHEN I'M DOING PILATES?! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE IN THE ROOM, PIORI!!  But not just pilates, I'm innocently sitting at my desk and this is what I look over to see.

Can you see the look of pure hatred on his face??!  I literally can't see anything else.

2. He's bipolar.  One minute I'm lying there reading and he comes up on the bed and so I go out of my comfort zone (you know, because I'm in another country and need to be practicing doing that and stuff) and so, I pet him.  And it's all fun and games ok, I guess, AND THEN OUT OF NO WHERE HE HISSES AT ME! WHAT THE WHAT PIORI!?!  

3. Perhaps the most concerning though, is how he gets along (or doesn't get along, I should say) with my friends.  One in particular.  I mean, if things are going to work out for me here, he needs to be respectful of the fact that not only will I be in my room, but so will my friends.  SO STOP GIVING MARTIN THE COLD SHOULDER, PIORI, YOU SNOTFACED CAT!!

4. I JUST DON'T GET WHAT HE WANTS!! I want to try to be his friend, well, maybe just to have things be civil between us, but I don't know what he wants! (Other than the cans of tuna that he was attacking in my grocery bag...like, how did he know there was tuna in there?! DO CATS HAVE A SUPER SNIFFER LIKE GUS?! SHOUTOUT TO PSYCH WHICH PREMIERS AGAIN TONIGHT!! HOLLA'!)  Sometimes, he walks around purring and purring and I think he wants to be pet so I reach out to pet him and HE SNAPS AT ME. Oh, okay.  Last time, I try to be nice. Gosh.  

Just look at this face.  How, like, really, tell me, how can you love this...thing?!  

This was the moment I saw my life flash before my eyes. 

 And this was the moment I thought I was forever freed of Piori.  I was almost certain that he was reaching for the light, and then had, well, for lack of better words, died.

 But trust me, he's still here.  Watching me.  At this very moment.

Always.  He and his judgmental  glossed over, golden-glowing eyes are always watching me.

Prayers appreciated.

And for all of you "cat people".  Like, WHY?!!