Here’s the thing. She also beat my time. Here’s the other thing. She’s 56 years old.
You can imagine that for a competitive, prideful person (not to not name names—I’M TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, CAROLINE, HERE!) having your mom beat you takes a swooping chop of a leg from that pedestal that I went ahead and put myself on. Not even the winner’s pedestal, mind you.
You’re probably thinking that this is the lamest example of jealousy that you have ever heard. Worse than a Focus on the Family Kids’ Devotional where Katie gets jealous of Melissa for having the Powder Puff Girl lunchbox that her mom wouldn't let her get. All right then. I’ll see your story and raise you one. How about Facebook. How about how often I go on only to catch myself stalking someone, and without realizing it my thoughts start flashing. Bam! Just like that. We’re not talking Good Will Hunting-genius-type flashing here but more like the petty-comparison-make-myself-feel-better-game. I see a post about someone succeeding in some way and automatically my thoughts flash to examples that I can come up with of how they haven’t succeeded. Or sometimes even worse, I’m ashamed to admit, I fall back on judging physical appearances. Why?! Why in the world would I be part of such a fruitless game?? Like, if I wanted to do that I might as well head on over to District 10, throw my hands up in the air and volunteer.
Well, to answer my own question. Being human is a messy ordeal.
I’m a prideful being. But the funny (but not really) thing is, the only thing I should be prideful of is God. My talents, my successes, my opportunities, my family, my friends—all the blessings that I have are not my own but all by the grace of God, a gift poured out onto me.
Also, I’m a foolish being. How petty are the things that I value and often put my confidence in. To be funny, to look good in a picture, to be complimented…(“wow Caroline, slow down! Don’t share all of your overwhelmingly attractive qualities right away! I mean, save some for the third post!”...I know I know, I’m told I can come on a bit strong)…Things that are important to me for the sole purpose of lifting me up.
But what a transformation it would be if I stopped deceiving myself into saying that I was truly doing all I could to glorify His name, and I actually lived that out as best as I could. What if with every Facebook post that I looked at I rejoiced with the person celebrating rather than try to devalue their achievement!? What if I praised God for the beauty of His every human creation rather than allow myself to feel insecure or judgmental?? What if instead of looking at celebrities as being created “under the knife” I remembered that they’re also created in God’s image and ought to be loved the same as you or me?? What if I thanked Him for giving me a mom that has the discipline and child-like enthusiasm to KICK BUTT running her races rather than let myself get jealous??
Guys, we’re talking about a transformation even better than when Heimlich the caterpillar emerges as a butterfly in A Bug’s Life ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlERKIzEddE ). Big stuff here. One that if I tried to do on my own accord, I would be completely overwhelmed and simultaneously weirded out by the way my head works. A transformation of the mind. And already I have found that it truly is a joy to continually have an awe-set heart at the generosity of our God rather than an envious mentality toward …well, what, after all? What do we lack that we have to be desirous of??
So here’s to God taking my every thought captive before I allow it to become a prized catch. To striving to live an awe-stricken, joy-filled life. A life where I am thankful for my blessings but never feel entitled to any of them. And that the only pedestal I would ever put myself on would be the one in front of Peach’s castle as DK tries to gracelessly balance his kart amidst the falling confetti.
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| Sissy, Dad, and me with the winner! So proud of her!!! |
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